I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
