Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
