We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
