the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
