when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dick very happy bro
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
