my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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