I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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