i permit you to call me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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