To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
