sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
