First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
