You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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