Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
