did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
