I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
