Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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