So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
