she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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