Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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