but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
