OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Randomize
