I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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