Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
