Redeem this text for a blowjob
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
