bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
