Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
