just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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