He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize