Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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