And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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