"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm at about main and main street
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
