My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
