I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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