there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
