Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
