mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
