thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
