Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
