I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
