Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She bit a glass in half.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
