No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
