69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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