So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
