I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize