I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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