Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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