that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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