How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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