he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
