hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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