he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
